It hurts when somebody hurts me, of course. But it hurts even worse when I found out that the opposite had happened. Once I used to have a list of people whom I had wanted to hurt so badly, but I ended up hurting all but ones on the list, unknowingly. I may have been the spider on the web of wounds, scars, and traumas waiting somebody to get caught.
… I can tell only this much today as I had too much going on in my head. I found out that my decision had been right all along by worst the possible way, so I am very, very sad and depressed.