Eye for an Eye Job
When I was a junior in the college, which I guess more than a half million years ago, I had a blind date with a girl I thought cute. You just don’t have any idea whatsoever that how ancient my junior year was. People still rode the dinosaurs for commute. Mine was, well, a stegosaurus, which was the cheapest option a poor college junior could have. More than anything, those kite-shaped plates made the ride very uncomfortable as there were not enough space to sit on between those. You don’t even need to mention all the dinosaurs were not smart; every time it lost even though we used to take only one route. To see the positive side, it was a herbivore so there was no risk of getting eaten when whipping so hard. One of my class mate who was filthy rich was torn into pieces when beating the head of his Pterosaur to speed it up not to fell behind another filthy rich class mate’s one. The Pterosaur was, without a doubt, one of the most expensive commute dinosaur but it was a still dinosaur. Even with the cheapest stegosaurus I had hard time paying the loan back so I had to bail out to US…
Anyway. I kind of had crush on her. Looking back those days, I still cannot figure out exactly why: was she that attractive or just because she was a female? It is such a shame to reveal but I didn’t really have any girlfriend before being enlisted. In other words, during the first half of my twenties I couldn’t even had anyone to hold the hands. I didn’t even had any legit chance to see one more than once. Did I not try? Hell no, I did. From the first day of freshman year, I tried all my best to join most promising blind date opportunities, and I could. But the problem was that I wasn’t really promising potential matching partner.
Among all the elements made not so promising, the most glaring one was my fat physique. As I have mentioned oftentimes when I do not have really good topic for postings, I had always been in between being chunky and fat until my late 20s and early 30s, with the blessings of merciless yo-yo. It was like carrying 10 babies at once and gave birth, and then slowly having them all over again for two or three times. Anyway, I was fat and the girls really did not like fat guys. Do you know that all time most quoted lines of refusal by girls? Well, I am sure you do: “you seems to be nice, but….” Well, I really cannot remember how many times I had heard that especially since it was more than a half million years ago. Yeah, I am fucking nice but that doesn’t work for the girls since they always end up choosing less nicer guys with less body fat. However. I couldn’t complain as I would have done the same.
I guess the situation was a little bit better when I met that girl as I was at the end of 1st hardcore diet; I had lost about 25kg so I kind of looked good so my self-confidence was I believe all time high. I was so ready to get hooked up. Well, there was a still problem which was carrying over from my fat days. I didn’t have any idea how to act properly. As mentioned above, I couldn’t even see someone more than twice so how in the world I could develop proper skills to make the girls attracted? Even after a half million years, I can still remember I was so awkward when meeting her. The most clumsiest one was like this: in one date, which I guess the second or third one, I told her like “hey, I think your eyes are pretty” with the most awkward fashion 20s something awkward and previously fat guy possible, totally out of blue. “Well,” she shrugged. “I had an eye job done, so…”
After a half million years later, I finally can develop the eye for an eye job. It is a half freaking years so no wonder I can develop that sense. If I still cannot do it then there probably is no hope for me. Well, even with that I don’t think I have any hope left but there is always something called miracle… Anyway, the most helpful materials for me to develop that are the huge advertising signs for the plastic surgery classes in Apgujeong subway station. I happen to go there semi-regular basis these days for some meetings and found out that all the different advertisements of different clinics put some difference girls with same eyes. Earlier today I was unconsciously surfing the web and saw someone’s picture. Her eyes are…
Oh, even with that hardcore diet, I couldn’t hide my emotional fatness so I ended up getting dump from that eye job girl as expected.
# by bluexmas | 2011/07/31 02:31 | Life | 트랙백 | 덧글(2)
